Time to Sound the ‘All-clear’ and Punishment Clothing Sans Armholes

Yes at long last it is time to sound the ‘all-clear’! With the indispensable help of several volunteers I think we have finally dispensed with the last of those tenacious little typos that had somehow clung on to a few of the pages of INSTITUTIONALISED volume 3.

Partly I have been hard at that task (making the corrections that is – I am dyslexic, so there is little point of my checking through myself) and partly I have been doing some prelim research for a private commission I have received to write a bespoke piece. The latter is especially exciting as I was becoming more than a little jaded, not to mention disillusioned. Now, having been presented with someone else’s vision for a story framework, I find my self all ‘fired up’ again. Obviously I can’t say much as regards the brief, but surface it to say that even a preliminary scratching around has spawned all sorts of new ideas.

Going back to the proofreading for a moment; a very special ‘thank you’, I feel, must go out to ‘Orage’ who has proved especially diligent in this task. That is not to belittle all those others that have contributed of course, to whom my heartfelt gratitude goes out. Now, despite having now passed through several different individuals’ hands at various stages in the process, it is such an elephantine work – weighing in at well over a quarter of a million words – that some errors and stumbles may yet have fallen through the net, so if you have downloaded a copy since yesterday (Thursday 2nd June) - which was when I created the latest revision – please let me know if you spot anything glaring.

Now, in my defence as to my apparent neglect of this blog of late, I have not been quite the laggard I may appear. I have made several additions to the ‘Useful Resources’ section of the side bar and added a couple of blogs to the blog list. The trouble is that I have failed to make a note of each addition as I have been in a perpetual rush most of the time – it has been the half term school holidays and I have had to do my share of that ‘parenting’ thing – and so you will have to check through to see what has changed. I have also sourced a couple of affiliates that seem suitably appropriate for the direction this blog usually explores. Lupus Films, in particular, always seem imaginative in terms of the plotlines they develop and authentic in terms of their costumes and sets – where else can you see young girls put in button through overalls / work dresses as part of a disciplinary régime? The nurse delivering a spanking pic from SIT-Spanking could almost come out of a certain scene in the new book – at least as depicted in this shot. You can find the links in the right hand sidebar someplace. 'Spanking Shame' is another affiliate I will be adding soon (Bared buttocks at school desk, above)

As for the other half of this entry’s title; I have been playing around with the idea of dresses and blouses etc designed excluding the provision of armholes as an adjunct to certain bondage / discipline themes. I am not talking here of just sewing up the arm holes of pre-existing and commercially available garments but rather of tailor-made bespoke garments, carefully fitted and designed with the aim of making the wearer appear as if a double amputee. The question I find interesting is exactly how such designs would appear to the eye and how one might put that impression over in writing. Your thoughts, please.

The Girl in the Striped Pyjamas - A Good Reforming Spank and a Blog

Since I have been going on at length in recent weeks (or has it been months) about humiliating baggy institutional pyjamas, can you imagine my joy at coming across a blog featuring a continuing reform-school style storyline including exactly that. The approach is somewhat different to my own and the scenario is entirely different of course, but the addition of
matching elasticated cotton mop (sometimes, mob) caps is inspired - although those of you who have read the first two volumes of my INSTITUTIONALISED series (see sidebar) (there are only two at present - but with a third on the way) will have come across the concept of the wearing of bonnets as part of an institutional uniform, although not with pyjamas and not at all of that style. But as part of institutional nightwear it makes perfect sense, somehow. I pinched the pic from the section that deals exactly with that - simply click on the photo to go read. To read the latest instalment from The Girl in the Striped Pyjamas.blogspot.com - click blog name here, or see the link I have posted in the right-hand sidebar blog list (err... over on the right?). By the way: I don't know where this pic originated - I have never seen it before - but notice how each seems as if obliged to permanently utilise one hand to keep hitched up her pyjama bottoms. A hugely demoralising feature - and a concept I have recently been exploring in my writing, although in what I would imagine to be a completely different context.

A Sunny Monday Update (Posted on a Tuesday) and a Bottle-green Gymslip

I am ashamed to say that I spent most of yesterday in a pub. I'd taken my computer with me and decided to do a bit of work on the book before getting round to answer my e-mails. I actually got quite a lot written for the new book but then got sidetracked by a conversation with a fellow regular and it got all a little too late in the day. As you may know if you been following this blog; for one of my characters in the new book she is about to trade in the institution's somewhat idiosyncratic take on the good old-fashioned 1950s or 1960s style school uniform for a pair of ill fitting baggy stripey institutional pyjamas and plastic pants.

As she had been taken straight from the so-called 'schoolroom unit' to the section psychiatrist's consultation room for her customary interview and analysis session this provides a good excuse for a long winded (hopefully not too long) and typically fetishistic discussion of the highly restrictive, juvenile school uniform they have her dressed in.

As she will not be returning to the schoolroom - she is going to be placed in a small secluded room leading straight off of the doctor's consultation room enabling her to have the doctor's full attention 24/7 - she will be required to strip and change into her new and perhaps in some ways even more humiliating garb in situ, thus providing full scope for a detailed description of some of the more devious refinements that have been made to the girl's uniforms.

In addition, she receives a good long hard caning while still in her school uniform by way introducing her to her new regime and to encourage her compliance when told to get changed and to go into the tiny room that is to become her new home. Of course she is reluctant even to get changed in the first place; the pyjamas are so ill fitting that she is going to have to continually employ one hand to hitch up the trousers and it doesn't help that she has been told that the whole point is to help her to "feel more like a mental patient". You can imagine her extreme reluctance when, with her wrists in leather restraint cuffs and gingerly clutching at her baggy pyjama bottoms to stop them from simply dropping around her ankles, she is ordered into a teeny bare room in which the only furnishings are the usual standard hospital bed and a small desk and chair combination - both rather sinisterly equipped with restraints. By this point she has received a second caning for not changing straight away into her new garb and is still wildly weeping when she makes a break for it.

She gets no further than the consultation room door, which is of course locked from the outside. She rushes at the drapes behind the doctor's desk but what she finds there behind the heavy fabric only results in her becoming more frantic. Finally the problem is dealt with in the doctor's own unique inimitable style - but not in the way one might think. Without giving too much away it involves her being taken for a little sojourn beyond the institution's walls and a demonstration of psychology that leaves her docilely shuffling back to her new home with the triumphantly smiling domineering psychiatrist bring up the rear, cane in hand - the girl now knows there had never been any point in her running, but she tried to run and so must be punished in any case.

And there you have it, pretty much. Other than that I also use one of the caning sessions as an excuse for a series of flashbacks to her aunt's home and the uniform that woman made her wear while she lived there, which in turn allows me to introduce some new ideas which to be honest are not entirely 'my bag' but which introduce some interesting discipline possibilities: So we hear about her hot and rather uncomfortably sticky summer dress and the heavy bottle green gaberdine raincoat that she wears at all times when out of the house no matter the weather.

It all leads to a nice little quandary, that one: It turns out that her aunt doesn't actually insist that she wear the thing but she does dictate that if it is to be worn then it must be worn correctly, fully buttoned up, tightly belted and with the hood up. Of course in hot weather this is both impractical and looks somewhat ridiculous, but the only other option is for others to see the uniform that she has on underneath it, the fully buttoned blazer, the long-sleeved school-style summer dress - a design of her aunt's own devising - and beneath that; the full-length thick nylon slip and high-waisted long-legged school knickers.

As it is she finds it bad enough being obliged to remove her raincoat so as to sit in her aunt's car - but that's her aunt's rule and she is a very strict, very overbearing woman. The latter point is very interesting and there is some discussion as to how the girl, once quite outgoing - even outspoken - and spirited came to be so dominated by this woman that she finds herself weighed down by petty rules and restrictions, subject to corporal punishment, taken to see a psychotherapist for a series of conditions, most of which seem to have been fabricated by the woman herself, and finally told, without a by or leave or having any say in the matter whatsoever, that she is to be entered as a volunteer patient in an experimental psychology program. The rest as they say is history and I can't wait to write it!

But for now: The only person who ever speaks to young heroine or as much as acknowledges her existence is the good doctor herself and the only breaks the girl has from the tedium of her isolation are the long hours of psychoanalysis and questioning sessions she spends with the that woman. All the time all she ever hears talked about is her 'mental condition' or her 'psychological state' and if she ever speaks out about any of the ideas the doctor discusses with her or attempts to change the subject then the doctor is not shy of introducing the cane or the strap to the girl's behind. As the weeks turn into months we can only watch as she is gradually ground down by a series of procedures, some quite subtle, others less so, and a regime akin to brainwashing and designed to actually turn her in to a docile mental patient. Cruel, I know but there you have it!
Remember, though: as always this is only part of the story - there's loads more going on behind the scenes for us to learn about. Talking about 'shame clothing' and 'dress discipline' which we were - sort of - how about this little combination I recently came across (See top).

Friday Addendum: A couple of Blogs and a Forum to Check Out

As an addendum to the last posting: I have added two new blogs to the sidebar blog list Erosblog - which has all sorts of stuff for you to explore – and Lesbiantoons –lesbian-orientated cartoons that you might like to explore. I've also added to the ‘Useful Resources List’ (again, see the right hands sidebar) a link to a forum discussing spanking and other relative issues and called VoyForums. As always you can click on any of the site names, above, to visit or, of course, look under the relevant category in the sidebar. The intriguing little picture to the top left I found in my e-mail pile this morning; it having been sent anonymously I have no idea of its origin but it does conjure, in my mind at least, something of the imagery I seek to evoke in INSTITUTIONALISED volumes 1 and 2. It is entitled ‘Detained’. I so love that term - Detained -it evokes blameless incarceration of every kind and well outside the limitations of the conventional judicial system. Also it is surprising what a quick rummage around Flickr can produce. With one eye to the upcoming new volume - and one chapter in particular - one cannot help but wonder what confections and possibilities might lurk in a disused old storeroom at the rear of this delightfully traditional premises. One can well imagine our young lady’s chagrin and disdainful expression as she is led past the traditional yet modern mannequins and displays and is ushered in by the elderly proprietor to a veritable wonderland of pastime idiosyncratic institutional styling, anachronistic bespoke design and flouncy - yet oddly strict and restrictive - juvenile outfits of uncertain purpose.

Toiling in Uniform

I met up with an old school chum yesterday, in a pub in Camden Town (The Spread Eagle, Parkway, for the Camden Town initiated among you). This, as I'm sure you can imagine by now, involved bucket loads of real ale (Young’s Special, in my case) and, despite my best intentions, very little in the way of work. What did crop up, however, when mulling over times gone by, was a recollection of another old school friend many years ago standing in that very same pub and his obvious glee when telling all within earshot of how he had set up his quite attractive young wife of the time in a job as a toilet attendant working in the public toilets close to their home. To be honest I know nothing about the background to their relationship and no more was said on the matter, but to be said that she was always a quite, meek mouse of a girl and on this particular occasion, all the more attractive thanks to the pleasing little blush of embarrassment that washed over her cheeks. Anyway, this fond little memory got to me to thinking about a comment that was posted recently by an anonymous contributor and alluding to the series of correspondence that pops up on this site from time to time regarding the relationship of someone called Judith with her aunt. I realise, from one or two comments I have received, that this series of correspondence is not everybody's cup of tea and of course it has little to do with the story arc contained within my current two volumes and the upcoming new volume - though I'm always grateful for any potential source of inspiration, and there have been one or two ideas that have sprung from this source Nevertheless I thought I would reproduce this latest contribution here as not everyone reads the comments attached to the various postings

“I see that you are continuing to try and correct your niece’s behaviour by imposition of school type discipline. I am sure this is very humiliating for her but does not appear to be producing the required results. I would suggest to you again that you impose a more physically uncomfortable and constraining regime like that which was widely used here on US County Farms. Dress her in a simple dress of plain uncomfortable material such as sacking or the worsted you seem to use and nothing else except a pair of plimsolls. Find her a job in the local community which requires her to do hard physical labour at least in part in public. I am sure that the town council could utilize someone to clear rubbish, sweep the roads and clean the public latrines at minimal cost. When she is not working either have her doing your housework or physical drills. She should work from 5 am to 9 pm minimum. She should be confined at night sleeping on the floor in her dress. She should utilize a bucket and have no toilet access. Whether she can use the bucket in her cell or in front of you, you can decide. She should eat gruel for breakfast, no lunch and a mixture of mashed vegetables/potato and bread for supper. This regime should apply seven days per week. In addition I would suggest you employ corporal punishment as in the old “straffen första” program in Scandinavia i.e. corporal punishment is regularly applied for exemplary work with further applications for any failures. I would suggest eight to ten strokes of the cane to the behind twice per week as the basic application. Clearly any failures during work can be disciplined immediately “in-situ” as well as more formally later. This regime should require less administration on your part and deliver a severe punishment as well as allowing your niece to be used as an example to others.
After this for a few months I am sure that the petty indiscretions will no longer occur and your charge will be more appreciative of whatever limited privileges you grant her including if you so wish wearing uniform. Then perhaps you will be able to place your niece in a menial job of some description, where her freedoms can be limited and her dress be maintained as you see fit.”

To add my two pennies worth; I always thought the idea of this girl being allowed to work in an office job was far too lenient and offers far too much scope for her develop her independence - especially if she is allowed travel to and from work unescorted. Secondly; if she is to be kept in some sort of uniform of her aunts choosing it would surely be better if that same uniform - or some variation of it - could be retained both at work and at home and if she is to be employed in an office and to be in the public eye, this set is obvious limitations as to what may or may not be socially acceptable or expected. If she were to be placed in service, however, perhaps as a skivvy under the supervision of a suitably domineering mistress, and allowed home only at weekends than these complications disappear and her uniform can be made as humiliating as it is practical and functional with the only limitation being imagination of her employer and/or aunt. Then again there is something to be said for keeping her in the public eye, toiling day after day today under after day under the disparaging gaze of strangers - and this brings me back to the idea of finding her a suitable placement as a toilet attendant. It would be quite expected and socially acceptable for her to be kitted out with a nylon overall and apron and she could be escorted to and from her place of work with a gabardine raincoat tightly buttoned and belted over it. Of course the raincoat would return home with her aunt, to be brought back at the end of her shift for the return journey; she would thus be presented with a choice of staying at her post throughout of venturing into the street in her shabby nylon work-dress and apron. Whatever employment she is placed in I would expect all proceeds - such as they might be - any position being suitably low paid - to go straight into her aunt’s pocket. If she was to be employed as a skivvy or lady's maid then I would expect the majority of her meagre wage to go for room and board and of course to pay for her uniform in any case. Anyway, I've had a rummage around Internet this morning looking for suitable floor-scrubbing pictures and instead came up with these little gems. The dress I came across on Flickr and thought it perfect for either scenario - certainly no young lady of this day and age is going to want to be seen out and about in that and yet it is both eminently functional and smart enough for most forms of work if placed in service. The second picture is just an example of a nice little touch of shame and humiliation - perfect as an early step in taking a young woman down a peg or two when first entering an institution.

A Little Moving Picture Entertainment from Regulation Knickers.com and a School Summer Dress Reminiscence / Ramble

As my stated aim has always to keep this blog / site as primarily non-commercial (other than shamelessly promoting my own writing of course) I am currently only hosting one affiliated commercial site - although I may consider featuring one other at some future point should I come across something of genuine interest and value to my readership. Nevertheless today I was perusing the Regulation Knickers.com site (just click to visit or see the featured banner in the sidebar to the right or the other, larger one, at the foot of the page) in search of inspiration and found it in the form of a bottle green gymslip. Now admittedly you will have seen it before on this blog, albeit worn by another girl but I thought it a great excuse to feature a short movie offering for a change (only the second time I have featured moving content). It is a shame it is not worn by the girl being spanked but - while risking sounding a little too much like an advert for Regulation Knickers - it is a brilliant example of the combination of authenticity and imaginativeness that I find so stimulating about their stuff.

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One thing about their photos and films that never fails to catch my imagination is their incorporation of uniforms not only for the girls but often for the dominant character as well. The latter often well illustrates how the use of the different features that go to make up a uniform can be used to underline an authoritative / assertive role and 'air' - thus bolstering the self confidence and self esteem of the wearer - just as unusual detailing and juvenile features incorporated into the uniform of the girl serve to humiliate, belittle and undermine her confidence, thus underlining the required obedience and docility required of her. That juxtaposition serves to increase the psychological aspect of the domination of a girl's will in a synergistic manner - if she found it difficult to stand up for herself before, dressed in her humiliatingly childish school uniform, how much more difficult will it be for her to stand up to a dominant, stern governess dressed in the authoritative uniform of a hospital matron or ward sister of old or perhaps to a woman garbed almost as if to be a prison officer? Actually Regulation Knickers seem to be linked to the folks behind the old Disciplinarian site and who used to publish the magazines, Strictly Uniforms and Uniform International and they once featured (around 10 years ago now, I think) the most deliciously humiliating school summer dress ever to grace a well developed late-teen girl - green candy stripe, puffed shoulders, button through with short flared skirt, nicely fitted bodice with high-buttoning 'Peter Pan' collar and a plastic, buckled belt emphasising the waist, you get the picture? I have featured a couple of the pics from the series in a much earlier post (click HERE, or why not check through the blog archive and see what ells you may have missed?) In my eyes it just required a school badge with a suitably humiliating 'mission statement' as a motto embroidered on the breast pocket to be perfect (perhaps a long sleeved version with stiff buttoned cuffs and a button fastening belt of the same fabric as the dress might have something a little more going for it, but not much - hands up who thinks I'm just being 'picky' !) Incidentally; if I was to feature another commercial site, I'd love to feature Lupus Pictures / Rigid East - I love their stuff - but for now this is as commercial as I'm getting. Bye for now, I'm off to see Harry Potter at the IMAX, Waterloo tonight with the 'little woman' and I have to get to the gym and then get ready (grooming takes a little longer at my age).

A Reader's Contribution and a Note for Judith's Aunt

I am now back from my short Sojourn to Clacton and the surrounding areas of Essex - of which more another time. For now though: Hands up all those that remember the correspondence that started with the publication of the reader's contribution entitled; A well Deserved Regime (just click to view) way back in January of this year. Although not directly related to my writing it nevertheless made for some interesting reading and led to several other contributions / comments. Well another anonymous comment has now been posted up attached to "Another Note from Judith's Aunt and a Comment from yours truly" (click to read) and as is my habit I reproduce it here - those of a sensitive disposition where such matters are concerned are reminded that the 'child' being discussed here is a young lady in her late teens and refers to her treatment / regime rather than her chronological age.

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"Dear Judith's Aunt I thoroughly approve of your discipline of Judith and I appreciate your open mind in being ready to consider suggestions on how to develop it further. That is why I also venture to add some thoughts and proposals of my own for your consideration. I would greatly appreciate your comments on them, and of course also Judith's comments on her experiences if and when you choose to implement any of them. To begin with I wonder if it is any longer appropriate for the child, as I shall refer to her, to occupy a room of her own with a window and the opportunity to day-dream when gazing out of it instead of concentrating on her duties? Perhaps there is a basement in your house with some space - it need not be large nor have a window, a small cell just large enough to incorporate her wooden bed and a potty next to it is perfectly suitable - where the child an be moved. I would also recommend her bed to be provided with a thin mattress covered with a waterproof rubber sheet. I wonder about the child's hair. Given her very infrequent showers and the filthy condition her hair will be in most of the time, I think that for reasons of hygiene you might want to consider a new haircut for the child, leaving her with only a short buzz or even a bald head, which should then normally be at all times covered with a bonnet she could make for herself from the same gingham material as her school uniform. I also note that you have not said anything about her bra, or even if she wears one. Here you might want to consider providing her with a plastic or rubber bra, which would serve as a continuous humiliating and uncomfortable reminder of her status and discipline. To accompany such a bra you could also make her wear matching waterproof knickers, with her sanitary pad inside them of course. You have very properly imposed a rule of silence for the child, so that she will speak only when spoken to. You could also take steps to ensure that this rule is respected. While some might think that a gag is the obvious answer to such a need I don't agree with this. A gag should only be used as a specific punishment when the child's behaviour has called for it. When this is the case I would recommend something akin to a scold's bridle or branks, as such a head harness will not only silence her but add further to her discomfort. For everyday silence a pacifier is much more useful, but I would limit it's daytime use only to situations where the child's behaviour has called for her to be treated in a more infantile way than usual. But having the child suck on a pacifier during the night is quite alright and can become a source of comfort for her and allow her to sleep better. Another situation where a pacifier can be used for control purposes is during her corner-time, when the child could suck on the pacifier connected with a short chain to the wall. Her hands can then be attached behind her back making it impossible for her to move away from position during the corner-time without the pacifier falling. If you have small basket or pouch attached to corner somewhat below her mouth, the pacifier will fall into at and it will be impossible for her to put it back in her mouth without the use of her hands should she let it drop. My preferred recommendation for keeping the child silent is to have her keep a suitably-sized rubber ball in her mouth at all times, to be taken out only when she has been specifically told to answer, and for her meal times. This will be a constant reminder for her and can be used when taking the child outside in public. No-one will notice but the child will be acutely aware of it and it will be amusing to note her discomfort and anxiety should someone address her. It should make her want to keep as close to her aunt at all times, so that the adult can answer on her behalf. Most people will put the child's awkwardness in such situations down to some disability or retardedness, which will only add to her humiliation. Finally a word about her toilet habits. It is quite right that she has to ask for permission every time she wants to use the toilet, but I feel that the use of an adult toilet should only be allowed for responsible people and not such children as Judith, whose only use for an adult toilet is when she cleans it for her elders and superiors to use and when she empties her own potty which she must use for all her needs. yours Angel"

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All of this got me thinking and to put in my penny's worth - I wonder if old fashioned 'combinations' might not find a place in the girl's wardrobe (see drawing on left, above). An undergarment in which the knickers are combined with a bodice - with all the attendant inconvenience that entails - and that which could perhaps be modified to include a latex or polythene lining - Garth.

A New Art Link (Bondage) by Coco & a Little Bit of Stranger than Fiction Inspiration

Hi folks; Its a so called 'Bank Holiday' here in the UK which basically means a few folk get Monday off of work (those lucky enough to still have jobs that is - unlike yours truly). It used to mean practically every one got the day off but nowadays a lot of folk still have to work - just as they now do on Sundays and every other day of the week (and year, before long, I'd wager!). Mind you; if that means the pubs are kept open, then I'm all for it! (but pubs are going down like flies too - crushed beneath the heel of the credit crunch). I was hoping to go to an antiques fair at Alexandra Palace today, but got dragged instead to help run a stool at a car-boot sale in Hertfordshire - a sort of casually arranged bric-a-brac sale usually held in a field wherein folk sell their old junk brought in their car's boot (automobile trunk - for all you State-side people). Now I'm back to the final stages of proofreading, while still considering whether to split volume 2 into two books - and if so - how much extra work, and thus time, that would entail. If I can do so, sensibly, inside one week, then I may still do so - as long as the split ends the first and begins the second part in a sensible way; and a way that makes the story enjoyable to follow on without confusion.

Meanwhile; I have just been sent a new link (for which, much gratitude) to the excelent bondage art of Coco (click on artwork above or on the title highlighted in blue to link - or check out the sidebar resource list over on the right). And on the subject of 'truth stranger than fiction' (and something that should come as a source of inspiration for 'Judith's Aunt' - a contributor from a while ago now and from whom we have heard little of late...hint, hint... as regards the disciplining of her niece) no sooner did I add a little descriptive work to a section of volume 2 dealing with a form of shame-dress discipline (you will see what I mean if and when you read it) then I came across the following text...And I thought I was being so imaginative!

"We sometimes wore itchy woollen combinations, which were really uncomfortable, with sleeves down to the wrist, and our Liberty bodices were fastened with buttons to our knickers, so that meant unfastening them every time we went to the lavatory! On top of the petticoats we wore cotton frocks in summer, or kilts in winter, and sometimes these long shapeless jersey dresses. I had a navy coloured reefer coat and we had to wear laced ankle boots because my mother believed they helped to strengthen the ankle. But my older sister made such a fuss about them, we stopped wearing them in the end. I had a straw hat for summer and a velour winter hat." "Many young teenage girls were still [kept in] corsets [then]: "[That] was before roll-ons and corselets became popular, and [teenage girls had corsets that hooked up at the side. We wore two pairs of knickers, with navy blue bloomers on the outside and a white cotton 'liner' on the inside and at school we wore a black alpaca tabard pinafore over our uniform dress. We had house shoes for indoors, and lace-up shoes outdoors and on Sunday we wore patent leather house shoes. {A tabard seems an interesting idea - lots of possibilities there! But I'm not sure about alpaca, though - Garth}

"At home we wore these ghastly knitted dresses, they were absolute horrors with a belt threaded through round the hips, just where we were fattest, at a time when we were at our least shapely anyway. These dresses were knitted for us by somebody, and they had absolutely no shape whatsoever, and we hated them." Quoted and adapted from http://www.aohg.org.uk/twww/clothes1.html).

Dietary Discipline, Harassment Therapy & Sexual Reorientation – A Reader’s Account Revisited (Part 3 – Walking Down the Aisle…Again & Again & Again

Again, coming under the general banner of 'Truth Stranger than Fiction' here is the third part - Walking Down the Aisle (can you see where this is going yet?) A n interview, of sorts conducted by yours truly by email. Click here to read part 2 - -Click here to read part 1 (if you haven’t already) Something to keep you going while I get on with my proof reading and amending of INSTITUTIONALISED volume 2 (I had to go back to research some stuff about fabrics today, but the result was some fascinating revisions made to a certain young lady's uniform that I'm afraid can only have made it more irksome for her - we try to be kind, but its all good discipline and it is for her own good after all).

Before we get started: I have just this minute added another Yahoo Group to the side bar Yahoo Group list: Eric Stanton Cartoons (the art of Stanton) (Click on group name – in blue – or see sidebar on right)

Also, while your still there: If you enjoy (as I do, quite unashamedly) reading accounts of strict discipline - hands on heads with legs spread - Spartan regimes, late teen girls put back into juvenile uniforms and privileged young ladies brought down to the level of servants and made to wait on table then I can’t recommend enough a story I have just come across on The Spanked Girls Weblog::::: Gymslips & Dormitories (click title to read story or site name to go there – although, as always, it has been added to the sidebar blog list). Also take a look at Spanking Bethie Blog (click) why don't you?...and the yahoo group - Bound Brides (brides in bondage - needless to say...its where I got the bride pic).

Dietary Discipline, Harassment Therapy & Sexual Reorientation – A Reader’s Account Revisited (Part 3 – Walking Down the Aisle…Again and Again and Again)
“Something else [I came across while researching the basis of my treatment] that I found very interesting was something called 'shame aversion therapy'. Apparently it is/was very closely related to chemical and electrical aversion therapy. I had always assumed that my aversion therapy only related to those physical aversives that took place in the treatment room where I was shown the slides, and that the constant ridicule, humiliation and harassment heaped upon me (and the others) while on the ward, was simple meanness and ignorance combined with a desire to control us and keep a 'tight ship'. But now I wonder if these techniques may have been used in concert with the physical therapies such as chemical and electrical. Certainly something for me to ponder and research further.

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The nurses would belittle us and tell the other members of the ward how perverted we were and that God hates us and that we would be going to hell. They would make us stand on a table and recite nursery rhymes. Or makes us recite a prayer aloud for hours on end - often all day, without any break for lunch. Other times we would have to make public confessions about why we were there - our lesbianism and what that meant - and that our parents had disowned us. I had to make stuff up and it was still horrible humiliating - even though it was mostly lies. These 'confessions' usually had to be made at Sister's weekly 'gatherings' where she held up the undergarments of any girls who had failed to meet the required standards of hygiene - and it was on those occasions when even the drooling girls would receive their shares of strokes if they were deemed slovenly - or otherwise failed to meet the standards expected of them.

The nurses encouraged the other patients to harass us - and there was nothing we could do, restrained as we were. If we did try to retaliate, like try to head-butt somebody, it never worked out well for us. Between the nurses and the other patients we were constantly being teased - or being sabotaged in petty ways - like having our pinafores and tabards dirtied.

Shame Clothing

And there were times that we were dressed up in some costume designed to humiliate us. Not that it was always the costume that was inherently humiliating - it was the circumstances. Had it been a dress-up party, or even a regular party, it might have been ok - but being dressed up unwillingly for the sole purpose of humiliating us and amusing the nurses and other patients made me want to crawl away and die. Often it was just a party dress - albeit one better suited to a seven-year old - but I remember that one time I was dressed as a bride - not in some quick dress-up kind of way - but in a properly fitted wedding dress and veil. I was made to do circuits around the dayroom all day as the nurses told everybody who would listen that this was as close as I would come to being a bride.

.....

On two sides of the dayroom there were areas considered no-man's-land. That was where the windows and climbing bars were situated. No-man's-land was marked with a white line and none of the patients was allowed to cross it - making the windows and climbing bars, and some of the doors off-limits. Indeed we soon learned to give no-man's-land a wide a birth, for even approaching the line would generate unwanted attention from the nurses. But within patient area there was line running around close to the perimeter - and it was this line that we had to follow when we were doing 'circuits'. If I remember correctly I had to do about 200 circuits on the days when I was wearing the wedding dress. It wasn't nearly as many as I might have been made to perform on another day, but I remember having to proceed as if I was proceeding up the aisle. One foot forward - bring up the other foot level with it. Pause. Repeat. So my progress was slow and infinitely humiliating. Our progress, when performing circuits, was recorded by one of the drooling girls who was surprisingly efficient - she had paper with a kind of grid on and she would colour in one of the squares whenever we passed. However there were times when she would become distracted and I'm quite sure there were many times when she would fail to record a circuit.

.....

Besides those times when we had to parade around the dayroom in our 'costumes' we were assigned circuits for - well, I'm not entirely sure why. Maybe to keep us fit? Maybe as a result of some minor infraction. Maybe to keep us occupied if it looked like we might be heading for trouble. Whatever the reason we each had our own chart recording our progress in performing circuits. Generally the rule was that we had to perform five more circuits than our previous best - so if you were assigned circuits frequently it soon became quite laborious - especially if you weren't smart enough to start out slowly and make sure that you never completed more than the five extra circuits. If you lost count and did extra circuits 'just to be safe' that became your new 'best'. And there were consequences for failing to beat your best by those five circuits. You were not allowed to run, and if the nurses thought that you were walking too fast for 'safety' then you could find yourself hobbled.

.....

Looking back, I can't help but wonder whether the same concept might have been applied to our aversive treatments. Is it possible that the shocks were increased each time, and so long as we didn't pass out then the new high voltage or duration became our 'best' and had to be surpassed in our next session? It certainly felt like it. I wonder if we could become 'accustomed' to the shocks, so that if we passed out five times in a row from a particular level of shock, whether by the sixth we would be able to endure it without passing out? In the same way as our fitness might increase as we performed circuits in the dayroom.

.....

I also need to research something called harassment therapy. I remember coming across an article about a girl being kept in sheets and forced to scrub the bathroom floor with a toothbrush. The objective was to make her 'crack' - or something, but I've never understood what this was meant to achieve. But now I think about it, it sounds awfully similar to a lot of my experiences. I
Oddly, some years later I saw The Clockwork Orange and didn't associate the aversion therapy with my own. Talk about repressing unpleasant memories. But now it occurs to me that in The Clockwork Orange they took care to make sure that Alex could not avert his gaze from the images on the screen - they used those funny little gadgets to hold his eyes open. Although they took care to make sure that my head was locked into position consistent with looking at the slideshow they didn't use any similar devices to keep my eyes open or make sure I wasn't averting my gaze. Of course I probably wasn't particularly resistant to looking at the slideshow - it's not as if I was trying to protect my supposed deviancy. I do remember being told to 'look at the screen' from time to time - and not looking may have been part of my therapist's complaint that I was uncooperative, but I don't really know.”

.....

“As regards being 'encouraged' to eat the disliked foods; you mention the use of 'aversives'. What did they consist of , how were they applied and how did they operate - what was the effect each time they were applied?”

.....

The treatment to 'encourage' better eating habits used the same aversives that were later used to treat my supposed lesbianism: electric shocks, injection of drugs to induce nausea etc. This could continue for hours at a time - and believe me, after just one such session I was more than willing to eat anything they put in front of me. But they continued such treatment long after I thought I must be eating to their satisfaction - perhaps to ensure that I would not 'backslide'.
Although they initially used the same aversives that would later be used in my therapy for lesbianism, they did not bother using any kind of imagery or measurement - so to that extent it was entirely different. They would just tell me that they would continue the sessions until I could 'eat like a normal person'. In that respect it was entirely punitive and did not incorporate any of the 'scientific' ideas used in aversion therapy - which I assume was meant to be based on the same idea as Pavlov's dogs.”

.....

“Incidentally, was any form of corporal punishment used to maintain order and enforce compliance?”

.....

“Yes, but this was no surprise to me. After all we were caned at school - both on our rears and on our hands. You have to remember that this was in the early sixties and I was at a private school. However, I must admit that the corporal punishment in hospital was both more severe and was applied for less serious offenses. All the nurses had the authority to punish us, but the most serious punishments were usually administered by the ward sister, or at least under her watchful eye. Something else that effected my punishments was that I often had a bad nappy rash and my punishment would often be terminated part way through (often one stroke short of completion) to avoid injury, only to have the punishment re-started from the beginning on another part of my anatomy more able to withstand the strokes.”

Inmate Uniforms?

“From what you say about the place and the canvas smocks worn for meals etc I doubt it was permitted to retain own clothes - or were night-dresses taken from home allowed, for instance? If not, what sort of thing was issued by the hospital and was any attempt made to enforce a uniform appearance? I'm just wondering whether nightdresses were worn at all times, for example, or whether other clothing was available for other times of the day, in which case (and assuming all hospital issue) was there a disciplinary aspect to it - for example was it necessary to look a certain way, to appear smart, perhaps, even though the circumstances seem to make such concerns obsolete? (After all it's a nice way of asserting control).”

“Nobody wore any clothes from home. The hospital seemed o have a plentiful supply of clothing that was made on the premises and they strove for a certain degree of uniformity - but you have to bear in mind that for most of the time we 'sexual deviants' were part of a larger teenage ward that had all types of patients - whether mentally retarded, catatonic, psychotic etc. and it would have been difficult to have us all look uniform.

They didn't trust the sexual deviants - they expected us to molest anybody we could get out hands on - whether it was each other, the 'normal' patients, or even ourselves. So we weren't allowed to socialize in the dayroom or move about without some form of restraint - usually what they called jackets, but weren't much like some of straitjackets I have seen elsewhere. There were a lot of variations because they were made for each person in the hospital's brace shop and the nurses could ask for whatever design variations they thought would be helpful. But mostly the arms were laced to our sides unlike the Houdini style jackets that have the arms in front. Many of the other patients were allowed to move about and use their arms so long as they didn't cause any problems. So you would have a number of patients with full use of their arms and then others, apparently armless, moving around the dayroom, looking quite un-uniform. But they did make some attempt to have us properly and modestly attired - perhaps with an added emphasis on modesty given the presence of potential molesters in their midst. Those unrestrained generally wore a mid-calf mid-grey cotton dress, belted at the waist and with slightly puffed sleeves at the shoulder, a white detachable peter-pan collar, white detachable cuffs, and a plain white pinafore. It was neat enough, being tailored to fit each patient, but looked a little incongruous on some of the obviously retarded patients. I take that back - it looked a little incongruous on everybody - but like anything else you get used to it and before long it begins to look normal.

Those of us who were wearing jackets wore 'slips' over them - sleeveless tubes made from the same mid-grey cotton as the dresses. They had the same peter-pan collars and the pinafores were replaced with tabards. There were no belts since we essentially had no waists to speak of.
And then there were a lot of variations. For instance I saw some girls wearing the 'arms crossed in front' style of jacket who were wearing their normal dresses over them - the jacket arms inside the arms of the dress. The jackets were a lot tighter than I have seen elsewhere - presumably because they were custom fitted in the brace shop - either from scratch or modified from an old, often greasy, one. This tightness, especially in the sleeves when they were the 'arms-in-front' kind allowed them to be worn under our dresses instead of over them. So, as you can see, uniformity, if it was a goal, was only partially achieved.

I think I mentioned that I managed to bite one of the nurses when I was being admitted and that turned out to be a big mistake, because throughout my stay the nurse continued to make sure that I 'paid-for-it'. And I 'paid-for-it' in any number of ways. One of them was having to wear a hessian slip under all my clothes and restraints. It was as itchy as any hairshirt must have been and they were always looking for. proof that I must be finding ways to masturbate - and that was in spite of the considerable measures that they always took to ensure that we didn't masturbate. That meant a trip to the brace shop for a very elaborate (and uncomfortable) orthopaedic brace to better ensure my future good behaviour.

I could never really understand why we wore pinafores and tabards. I suppose it was a hold-over from a prior era when such things were more fashionable - maybe when the building first opened - but by the early sixties they were something of an anachronism for anybody but a little girl - an age we teenagers were trying to dissociate ourselves from. They must have been a nightmare for the laundry and we were always getting in trouble for smudging them. But they also served the purpose of identifying us. Every girl on the ward had her number printed in large numerals on both the front and the rear of her pinafore or tabard and the deviants also had 'DEVIANT' printed in large capital letters beneath the numbers, letting everybody know to give them a wide berth - just in case they missed our stubbly heads.”

"As regards their imposition of the punishment diet; you mention a period of three months or more: this is particularly interesting as it implies a long period of residence, if a punishment should go on for three months. How long was the average stay? Was it ordained at the outset how long it should be or could it be extended at the whim of the therapists (or even for punishment purposes)?”

“I'm not sure how long the average stay might have been. I was there for three years - when the program was phased out - and I don't think that I was unusual. I was lucky to be released rather than remaining a patient in one form or another. The problem was that the results of the program and my own treatment were considered inconclusive and the hospital was reluctant to discharge me, still a possible danger to society, only a teenager and with nowhere particular to go.

Dietary Control and Enforced Weight Gain?

“Still on the subject of diets: was there any attempt to weight control? Perhaps weight loss or even enforced weight gain (something that occurs in volume 2 of my book)?”

“I should apologize for not having read your book yet and for not having read very much of your blog. It is very high on my list of things I must do, but things have been very hectic ever since I found your blog - and writing this letter hasn't helped! As for weight control, I'm not quite sure. I do remember overhearing a conversation between two nurses that were discussing what to do about a particular patient. She was extraordinarily beautiful and I think she had been admitted because it was feared she would become promiscuous because she had a number of older boys pestering her. Anyway, the nurses were talking about what might be done and the question of fattening her up or making her too skinny to still be attractive was discussed - but I'm not quite sure what the outcome was. Somehow I think she may have been moved off our ward.

“I'm not sure if this counts, but I do remember that we were often made to wear the braces, and other devices that were made for us in the brace shop, long after they were comfortable. At our age many of us periodically grew quite rapidly. I don't think it was a cost saving measure because most of the people that worked in the brace shop, and certainly almost everybody who worked in attached sewing shop, were patients, and I assume they had to work for nothing. Besides, they showed absolutely no reluctance to take us down anytime they wanted to get us a more 'difficult' brace or jacket or make a modification to our existing brace. So I'm inclined to think that our wearing of braces that we had outgrown was just one more little way in which they needled us. Incidentally I was the recipient of an elaborate brace within a few days of admittance - ostensibly to cure my stooping. Nobody had mentioned it before and I suspect that the nurse I bit was behind it. Of course after a week or so it didn't seem so bad - but it made moving and bending much more difficult - and in that respect I was always conscious of it.”...to be continued...

An Essential Blog and a Teaser

First the teaser: A nice enough pic I'm sure you'll agree. But where does bridal-wear fit within the framework of a culture essentially revolving around the exploitative discipline and control of sensitive and vulnerable young ladies and all that comes with it - petty rules, and restrictions, humiliating and tedious impositions, humbling, embarrassing and degrading uniforms and the rest?

Well I'm afraid, for the answer to that one you are going to have to wait for the next posting - if institutional humiliation is your thing, you wont be disappointed! But then again, this charming little offering on the right lower down (from little brides) may give a clue of the potential.

Now for the latest Blog I've come across: I had to do a little research today - just to check one or two things that I have incorporated into INSTITUTIONALISED volume 2 (that's what proof reading is all about - yes, I'm at that stage now). As so often proves the case, I got a little side-tracked (but only briefly; I'm being kind of strict on myself at present). Anyway, to cut a long story short, I have just added a new blog to the blog list (see side bar) - very much corporal punishment / discipline orientated. There's a hell of a lot to explore and it makes a good jumping-off point for those wishing to venture further afield - it holds what is perhaps the most comprehensive collection of links I have, to date, come across. Actually this is all a little embarrassing, that I managed to overlook it for so long - not only has it been around since 2006 (at least) the owner had featured my book, INSTITUIONALISED vol 1, along with a kindly flattering comment , way back last December. Quite a showcase he gave it too - featuring both the front and back covers as well as the blurb that goes with it. (Click here to view the page) (click here to go to the home page) - it is called Paolo in Dublin, by the way.

You might also like to explore the bondage art of Ciro Coco (An artist I was recently tipped off about by a correspondent, just click to go to his work hosted on a commercial site - let me know if you find other sources of his work, because I would like to see more).