Thursday, 10 May 2012

A Very Short Clip and a New Cover Tryout

"Your job, as I am sure you understand, is to use that leverage and take that level of control one step further. I want Alice to become as dependent on you and I - as individuals - as she is dependent on that narcotic substitute her doctor has her on.”  


Karen Lamberton-Marchment couldn't quite believe she'd actually said that last part, but as she looked on the scene unfolding before her was affecting her in ways she hadn't prepared herself for. 

The blouse had now joined both the cardigan and tie slung across Daphne Larkspear's forearm, leaving the blushing girl standing with her breasts on display like some tempting trifling item offered on display in a shop window thrust outwards from a boned wasp-waisted corset from which sprung, at the narrowest point of the waist, a grey mid-thigh-length kilt-like wrapover school skirt, flat panelled at the front and sharply knife pleated at the rear.  

The corset itself had running down either side lacing that served to constrain two tubular compartments. These pipe-like laced compartments, upon reaching the waist, crossed over at the small of the back where an additional strap and buckle arrangement further secured them and clearly contained the girl's arms.  Reaching for the side of the skirt the ex-teacher unfastened the safety pin-like skirt pin at the hem, dropped a zip and unhitched a clip at the waist and without further ado whipped off the girl's skirt in one move.  Young Angel Larkspear was now left standing in a white restraint corset, for want of a better description, and a pair of exceedingly snug-fitting bottle-green school knickers...

Yes, very short indeed - I know - but I wanted to provide some inkling as to why I am so keen to keep in that hand / sedatives motif thing.

By the way I have just read a review of volume 1 on Amazon.co.UK - and pretty damming it is too! I sort of wish I hadn't read it.  But then again I wish I'd received that sort of comment sooner. Then I probably wouldn't of continued writing more - or at least I would have changed my style. It has done me one favour though, in that it backs up my decision not to go on with writing this stuff after this current volume is done and dusted. The criticism is perhaps well founded though.  In hindsight that first volume sometimes comes across as a little turgid to me now, in places. The whole lot, all three volumes to date, would benefit from being unpicked and reassembled by someone who knows what he or she is doing - editing wise - perhaps condensed to form one single, highly truncated volume. There are some good ideas hidden away in there, though!

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

I tracked down that review you mentioned and I didn't find it all that negative. What that reader found as negatives (such focusing on even the tiniest of details) other reader will find as positives.

Don't let a bad review get you down.

Orage said...

Hear! Hear!

"Followers of clothing fetishes" and of tortuous minds have greatly appreciated your three books, so what the hell?

Anonymous said...

Erotica can be tricky to review, because a lot of it comes down to personal taste. Apparently this reviwer person was not into the same particular fetishes that you are, which comes down to a difference in taste.

Yes, it is heavy going, and yes, there is a 'leaden" atmosphere of domiance WHICH IS WHY I LIKED IT. I wasn't looking for bunnies and rainbows! I think this person wanted safe, sane, consenual, non threatening, non challenging, conventional, and not very interesting. Or maybe the wanted another or those erotic romance thingies. (Although there is a kind of romance in your books, just maybe not the kind this person was looking for.

By the way, there's more in the way of plot in your books than in 90% of erotica. But one thing that's different is that a lot of the plot action is internal. There's a lot going on in the book, but it's mostly going on inside Susan's head. She's changing, in ways that she isn't altogether aware of. This critic person apparently wasn't aware of them either.

I think it's in the nature of things that any given piece of erotic writing will only appeal to a certain segment of potential readers because we all have different tastes in that kind of thing, so I wouldn't take this too hard.

I have to gp TCB, so I have to stop here. Like the man said, "Don't let the bastards get you down".

The Non Victorian Chick

Anonymous said...

Completely agree with the above...I think the reviewer was simply not the target audience, but rather than realizing it, was criticizing it for not being his/her own tastes. Which doesn't mean that it's unappreciated by those of us who do share your enjoyment of this genre! I hope you do reconsider stopping writing after this next one - I know there are very, very few people who write what you do, and you would be sorely missed.